grace (v2)
i just wrote a heartfelt, raw, genuine post about grace- not the little peanut growing inside my aunt’s swollen belly nor the kind that ballerinas possess- but rather the kind i hope i display in dealing with the sometimes heavy burden i carry. and then my browser crashed. so it goes.
even though it’s gone, the writing process made it all so much clearer to me, brought so much relief, gave me some perspective.
in hindsight, the post was a little self-centered. everyone hopes they handle their problems- great or small- with grace. we all hope that we survive our emotional traumas and come out unscathed.
my biggest fear is that i won’t be perceived as the happy-go-lucky person i am when i have everything in check, or that i’ll be judged for indulging in what it is that i need to endure this rough patch (which, admittedly, has lasted longer than it should). i don’t want to be seen as damaged goods, but i don’t want a half-assed shield that disguises pain under the surface. i want to be able to say that my trials have made me into the person i am fundamentally and for that personto be wholly happy and well-adjusted. that’s possible, right?
anne (hebrew): full of grace
here’s to learning to live up to my namesake.
-APS
skype… here’s your new ad campaign
anyone else find this absolutely amazing?
buddhists, hindus, muslims, islamic scholars, and agnostics all joined with pope benedict XVI to make a communal call for peace.
so, so cool.
i miss…
thailand.
sometimes i close my eyes and find myself there. the most recent instance took me back to the chiang mai walking street, standing in front of the jolly cotton candy man, buying a chubby boy a bunch of his own because he didn’t have any money.
sigh. take me back.
There’s something so surreal about laundromats. Is it the pumpkin orange industrial dryers? The sight of my white hi-tops swinging from my perch atop a washing machine? The hodge podge of people who show up here? The faint buzz of appliances in the background of my iPod playing Pink Floyd? I’m not sure… But I feel like I should be in a movie.
THESE PEOPLE
THIS SUNSET
let it go
let it go-the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise-let it go it
was sworn to
go
let them go-the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers-you must let them go they
were born
to go
let all go-the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things-let all go
dear
so comes love.
-e.e. cummings
